A new year, a new decade, a new everything. Well, maybe not everything. I am sure you catch my drift, though.

Since the middle of December, my Pinterest account has been flooded with life quotes concerning the new year that, at the time, was on its way. I wrote a few down in a small black journal where I keep quotes that matter to me. I thought I might share a few here and then get to the “meat” of this blog post.

“12 new chapters, 365 new chances.” That is an amazing thing. Although, I believe that each minute, each second is a chance. It’s also a choice. Each minute of each day you have choices that are, in essence, the chance to change your life path. What you choose to do this very minute can alter your entire path. I know, I know, someone out there is thinking that I am talking about the butterfly effect. I guess it could be taken that way. While I did see bits and pieces of the first movie, I never watched it all the way and I certainly have not given the theory itself thought. I merely see that our lives are made up of choices and with each choice, consequences (albeit to me, consequences seem so negative)…so, let’s say that again, with my interpretation inserted. I merely see that our lives are made up of choices and with each choice, chances. Yes, that does sound much better. In 2020, let’s make chances, and take full advantage of them. Repel the negative, breathe in the positive.

“There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”–C.S. Lewis. Now this here is a good one. I don’t know about you, but for me, 2019 was a year of pain. There was a lot of pain. I don’t mean in the physical sense either. There was physical pain of course, but it paled in comparison to the emotional anguish I went through. To be honest, I am much like a clown. On the outside (Instagram, etc) you see this happy go lucky chunky girl loving her life. On the inside, I felt like I was dying. Each day it was like a piece of me was ripped off. Like a bad burn victim whose charred flesh is peeled back day by day, ripping and tearing even the new flesh that was growing. There were plenty of happy moments, but sometimes, those dark corners crowded in and became overwhelming. When they did, I retreated, I put on that mask everyone knows so well. I kept people from seeing the naked me. The closer it got to 2020 the more it hurt. Then this morning I awoke with purpose, with plans, with a balm for my soul. Will there be more ripping, of course. To grow, one must shed that which no longer suits them. My growth game will be stronger this year. 2019 is the past, and as such, that is where it needs to stay. I accept that it was a year of shedding. I accept that it was painful. Now that I have accepted it, it cannot control me. It cannot take over my thoughts. 2020 is going to be a year of golden opportunity, golden decadence. I expect “Gatsby” sized life chances and so should you.

Now, for the more “meaty” portion of this post. Normally on New Year’s, I follow the tradition of making noise outside (either banging pots and pans or putting off fireworks) and then coming inside to make my resolutions while my neighbors unload their clips into the sky. This year, I did none of it. I came home from time with the family and went to bed. I got up two minutes before midnight, said “Happy New Year, Happy New Decade” to the kiddos and then padded softly back to bed. No resolutions. No trying to force myself into meeting a ridiculous standard just because the Gregorian calendar says I should. All my life, new year’s was full of people putting together “goals” or “resolutions” that they felt they HAD to obtain that calendar year. One year. Most resolve to be skinnier, make more money, get a new car, a better job, be more productive, go to the gym more, etc ad nauseum. While this is all good, life intervenes and as we humans do sometimes, we fall short. This leads to a feeling of being “stuck” in our situation, depression, and a feeling of worthlessness. As the months’ tick by we buckle down in life and before we know it, it’s time to make those resolutions once again, continuing the cycle of letdown. Don’t get me wrong, for every person that doesn’t succeed, there are those that do. I have perpetually been one who has not stuck to my resolutions, but to be fair, I didn’t put much work into mine. Possibly because deep down I knew they didn’t matter to me, not really anyway. It mattered on the surface because I was trying to be what society pushes people like me to be. I have always danced to the beat of my own drum, though, so inevitably I gave up before I started. In this new year, I will not be making a resolution, instead, I will be sending out intentions. When we tie ourselves to goals and resolutions, we are tying ourselves to a timeline. When we send out an intention, we are giving ourselves the freedom to incubate just a little longer. Each of our intentions are like seeds during the winter, wrapped in the earth waiting patiently for the sun’s rays to reach us to let us know it is time to rise. By incubating our intentions, we are reserving our strength and focusing our energy on manifesting the vision we hold. Sometimes we all just need to be held a little longer before bursting forth. What are your intentions for the new year? How do you plan to manifest them? Keep me posted on your progress in the comments section below!

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