Good morning dearies! I hope your day is going along swimmingly. My morning was a typical morning, you know the drill, get the kiddo to school and the hubby to work. I came home to write this blog post to find that my laptop wouldn’t turn on. Let’s hope it doesn’t end up being an expense I have to budget in. Here’s to hoping my bodacious hubby can fix the problem. More than likely, something came undone inside when my cat decided that flipping my table would be an excellent idea, which in turn made the laptop land face-first onto the hardwood floor. Thank goodness for Bluetooth keyboards! Now, onto the post itself.

 

I have been struggling with something for a few months, and while I have finally come to the conclusion in my brain, it has taken my heart a little longer to follow. I know someone else who is going through something similar and we often speak about it and how it affects our lives. 

 

About 20 years ago I met someone who I became quite close to. Let’s name her Amy. Now, Amy and I ran the same social circles but never really spoke until I broke the ice. After that, we became fast friends. As it turned out, we had a lot in common. Over the years we became best friends. She knew more about me than most and the same was true for me. Most people didn’t understand our friendship. From the outside looking in, they felt she took advantage of my kindness. While it may be true, I didn’t really feel that way. As time went by I noticed little instances of where I felt she was copying me, etc. I didn’t know she felt like I was “cool” because I never felt I was. LOL. So, it became an issue. Like a rubber band, it stretched our friendship too thin. We stopped talking. Then, a few months would go by and we would pick up our friendship where it had been left. Things would be fine, then another rift, and then silence. This went on for about 15 years. Then we got past it. She moved. We tried to see each other once a year but sometimes it didn’t work. We would video chat and text. But then that became sporadic too. In the end I would have to message her husband to say that I hadn’t heard from her and ask if she was well. I tried messaging on Facebook but no answer. Then one day I saw she was on, messaged her, and nothing….except that she was posting on Facebook. So I decided at that point that I had been ghosted despite what her husband had told me. It hurt. I wondered what I had done wrong. I hadn’t been a weirdo and messaged daily. I had messaged once every couple of months and would send a letter, card, or package every now and then. It seems though that our friendship was merely meant to be a few pages in a chapter of my life. Now, why do I tell you all of this? 

 

All of my life, writing has had a healing quality to it. A finality, an ending to the emotional response my heart renders. This is me “putting to bed” the friendship Amy and I shared. I will remember only the good times and let go of everything else. I just needed to bleed out the last bit of pain. My brain knew a long time ago that our friendship was over, my heart just took a little longer to follow. I always try to give people the benefit. Maybe they are busy or maybe my timing is off. As an artist, I dance to my own rhythm and often it is completely off from the rest of the civilized world. I made my peace with that a long time ago. So, I have said all of that to say this…each person is set in our lives for a reason. They are our growth. Some of them will become the branches and roots, always there. Some will become the leaves, there when we need them, and gone with the next season. We have to let them go when they need to, otherwise, we may be stunting their growth without realizing it, despite our best intentions. As my friend, perhaps I was stunting Amy’s growth or perhaps she was stunting mine. No matter what way the cookie crumbled, change was needed. Before closing, I want to impart a piece of advice, if I may. You have all heard this, but as a reminder, let’s go through it again. Each moment we draw breath into our body is a blessing, a gift. Don’t waste a minute of it. Stay in touch with those that matter. Release those that negatively affect your life. Easier said than done, I know. We have to remember how to live in the moment and how to surround ourselves with those that want to be there, experiencing the journey beside us. I hope in my own way, I have opened you to the possibilities that your life can bring without carrying around the dead weight that binds you. Keep an eye out, I have a video coming soon for you! Until next time, keep the coffee hot and the conversation going!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Next Post

My Ten Things

Sat Jan 25 , 2020
My Ten Things…__________________________________________ It’s a new year, a new decade, a new chapter in this chaotic book we call life. Everywhere I look people are […]